I’m not sure how I know, I just know that I do. I have always had a unique understanding that time is a gift and something that should be cherished. I understand and recognize that everything exists in motion. Even from a very early age I understood that nothing remains the same. I also understood that identifying and enjoying the moment was, and still is, a special gift. To steal a quote I recently heard, the number of good things in your life depends on your ability to see them.
We measure time in seconds, days, years, and lifetimes…nothing remains fixed. Seasons change, we age, relationships and friendships evolve and dissolve, and life moves on. In addition to seconds, years, and lifetimes…there are “periods.” Our lives are shaped by certain defining periods, and the memories of these periods quietly carve out our identity. These stretches of time…sometimes brief, sometimes long…leave marks that influence how we see ourselves and the world.
Childhood is often the first defining period. It is where our beliefs take root, our confidence is built and shaken, and these early experiences teach us about life. Even years later, the echoes of childhood guide the way I think and react. Growing up on the north side of Waynesburg we gathered daily to ride bikes, play baseball, and just hang out together. None of us knew it was happening, but at some point, we all gathered for the last time to play together. I try, but I can’t remember the last time we played baseball in the neighbor’s yard, or we all rode our bikes together. I understood at the time that it would all end too soon, and so it was with us. I don’t know exactly when that happened, but it certainly did, and all that is left now is just the memory of it.
Another childhood period that remains strongly embedded in my mind is my early outdoor experiences. There was a very special old oak tree, the biggest in the woods. I remember as a young boy sitting beside my father next to that special oak tree for many years when squirrel hunting. I knew every inch of that oak tree…I explored it and left no stone unturned when the squirrels went quiet. My dad never complained about me moving or making too much noise. Looking back, I think he appreciated just watching me enjoy the outdoors. We had some special moments just sitting under that tree, sometimes talking, sharing a snack, or most of the time just listening…the old oak seemed like it would always be there for us.
But trees change and grow old too, as the years progressed when we showed up to hunt, there would be more limbs laying around its base and it was clearly failing, struggling to exist, and it didn’t seem as towering…maybe I was just getting taller. Somehow, I knew this was a special place and a special time, but I also knew it was coming to an end way too soon. My dad has long since passed away, and a house was built where the old oak used to stand…and once again, I am left with just the memory of it.
As we got older, we entered a period of testing boundaries and forming values. The friendships that we choose, the risks that we take, and the failures and successes we endured during this period often set the stage for our adulthood. There are also unexpected defining periods…deaths, career changes, heartbreaks, illness, and personal defeats and triumphs…and once again the memories are all that is left.
The idea that nothing stays the same can feel unsettling. We often seek stability and permanence. Yet time gently teaches us that growth depends on change. We could not remain children and still expect to become adults. Even our thoughts and beliefs adapt as we gather new experiences. Without change, there would be no learning, no healing, and no progress. I believe that these “periods” in our lives are what really defines who we are. These periods are things that we can control to some extent. We can pick our friends, choose our academic course, choose whether we want to participate in sports, and what career path we want to pursue.
Understanding time also encourages attentiveness because moments pass quickly and cannot be reclaimed. You need to understand that the moment you are in will not last. Holiday gatherings, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations…all markers of change. Time humbles us, but it also offers hope. Whatever we face success or struggle, it will not remain forever. Somethings however are left to fate. To accept that nothing stays the same is not necessarily fearing change, but it helps us to appreciate the movement. In embracing time, we embrace the continuous unfolding of life.
Anticipation of changes is also a very powerful sense. The current “period” for me…marriage, career, family, college, and recently semi-retiring, forced me to realize that my life is more than half the way traveled, there are far more miles behind me than ahead of me. This period of my life has me going to more funerals than weddings. For years, growing up we witnessed the passing of acquaintances and people we casually knew…now, it’s my friends, siblings, classmates, and co-workers.
They say that by the time your child reaches eighteen years of age you have spent 85% of the time you will ever spend with them…what a devastating realization…especially for someone who waited till the age of forty-four to start having them. For now, and in the future, this realization will help me take the time to really enjoy the blessings that have been bestowed on me.
Go on that hunting trip, spend more time on the water, attend every event with your kids that you can because they truly are your most precious possession. I can, and will, take the time to really enjoy the moments I have with my friends and family…because eventually this too will be no more than a memory.
